He 's back. He jokes, makes jokes, even if it has that air of melancholy. Perhaps because it is far from his beloved. Maybe he does not know what to do with his life. And I wonder why I always inspired people to trust others. Although in fact I do not care. Lately I do not care much the lives of others. Not mine to tell the truth, but this' last I started to ignore it before. Now I try to find it, but maybe I skipped too much and he's gone. But at least I try. He did not look for me normally, but since it's zero to six thousand miles and no more, " because we do not go to greet an old acquaintance ", this must have thought. Coffee, tunnel drive, shop cinema. This is the path. I already knew. Even before this message. " hello lara, are in Novara for a few days. You feel like a coffee after lunch? let me know."
wow ... could form part of pre-defined messages, where the word Lara and Novara are the dots. Ok, sooner or later 'thing is supposed to happen, needless to avoid it. But the path has been interrupted before, just after coffee. He kept talking, talk, talk, and what came out of my mouth seemed genuinely interested questions. In fact the only thing I wanted to say was ... it was ... to stand still, as in a photograph. Not to mention, as his ghost. I knew him more time as a reminder that as ... real. I stopped among the people, all taken by the acquisitions, all smiles, all where they wanted to be. Except me. I mean, I do not know where I stand. But certainly not there. I always know not only what I want. I told him I came home. Hello, we feel. I turned around after a few meters. He looked at me inquiringly. It almost seemed as if I was gone. Only he did not know why he had not shot as he did. What a relief to leave. All as before he returned. All pathetic.
" maybe we should talk. come down below the house." Granted. The scontatezza but did not imply the absence of irritation. Why I did not understand that? Yet it was so obvious too. It 's time. Lara spits it all now. Do not pull back. It 's your time. Hurt. Even if a scratch is what you do, nothing to the stabbings suffered.
What do you want from me? Come back here after more than a year and what you gonna find? A friend? But you and I are not friends. Are not we ever were. Oh sorry ... maybe you will. And maybe that's the point. We want different things. You're asking me something that I can not give. I should be happy you're here? And why? Mica you came back here to see me. You are here to find Mauro. If it were not for Mauro Novara certainly would not be here now. It 's a visit due to what I do. You've never given a role in your life. I've asked several times. You've never responded. And then you know what happens? Or either one stop wondering and answers his own question. I can not afford to get close to me even for a millisecond. So what would be the devastating effect when you go again. I have all the defense raised, I have to do ... For me. You do not know how much uncertainty you leave me. You can not enter into such a person and then leave. You make me feel something is missing ... what I missed to make you stay? You do not know what it means to relate to others feeling deficient in something. And you know what ... you have you rebuilt next to a person, but I've done everything alone. I'm stronger. Why not dare to come near me. Do not make me feel again like this. What do you want from me?
And I finally killed that ghost. And he realized what he lost. And he realized he had it all wrong.
Yes .. that's how it goes.
A lara any
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